Serious Points
The original Boston Tea Party was only partially regarding unfair taxation. The phrase “No Taxation without Representation” was equally about the right to self-govern as it was to retain tax revenue for the good of the colonies. It’s true that the tea bought by the colonies was subject to a heavy tax that was then remitted back to the English government. But there was one more straw with the shipment that was destroyed during the Boston Tea Party: the colonists never even bought that tea. This shipment was originally slated for England. When the English did not need or want it, the King told the company to ship it to the colonists and force them to pay for it. This lack of self governance coupled with the heavy tax is what ultimately proved too much and by itself led to the Boston Tea Party, and in the aggregate with other taxes and governing policies led to the American Revolution.
This is not to say that the American Colonies had a voice in Parliament that due to a recent election had rendered them in the slight minority and this caused the colonists to revolt on the tax system that they had imposed on themselves. No, that is what is happening today. The absence of representation analogized to the impeding American breakaway from England bears no real resemblance to a national political shift that favors progressive politics and renders radical conservatism into the minority. There is in this situation not a lack of representation. Those that consider themselves conservative have a large minority stake in the Congress (over 40%), the states, and the national court systems.
Aside from the rampant tantrums of the radical right, there is something else that needs to be pointed out: there have been no changes to the tax code under the new administration. Conceivably if the protest is in regards to taxation (and the fake Boston Tea Party demagoguery seems to indicate that it is), then the conservatives are protesting the tax code of the Republican Congress and the previous Republican Presidency.
Some are making the argument that they are protesting the future tax increases that may come as a result of economically responding to the national and international recession. This means that they are protesting a tax code that is 10% lower (even for those super rich all those $30-50K republicans want to make damn sure they protect) than it was under Reagan. Man, if only Reagan were still alive, they would definitely want to get him in on some hot Teabagging action. With that, I think its time to depart serious discourse and do some joking.
Joking Around
With all serious analysis done, can I ask one question? Will someone please tell the Republicans what the term “Teabagging” means? I am as big a fan as the rest of you when it comes to just making the Republicans into a national joke for yet another reason. But I think now that the protest is less than 24 hours away, we should slap them in the face with the truth, let them wake up to a sweaty sack of revelation on their forehead. The crowds can even keep their rally cries that they are going to “lick the problem” and “can no longer keep their lips sealed.”
Fox News, please also continue to cover this as strongly as you have. One of the Teabagging leadership works for Fox: Neil Cavuto. He stated on his program that Fox was, “going to be right in the middle of the Teabaggers.” I presume this means they hired Jeff Gannon back. I hope Neil does get right in the middle of the Teabagging and I hope he also brings Sean Hannity and Brit Hume (who kind of looks like a ball bag on his own). Plus, I have to mention that one of the other leaders of this protest is Dick Armey. This joke just writes itself; because if you are going to have a national day of Teabagging, you definitely are going to need to have a Dick Arm[e]y there.
With this in mind, I don’t wish for the entirety of this to be criticism. I would like to make some suggestions of well known conservative figures that I would like to see involved in this effort and could really bring some good ideas to the mouth of the Teabaggers.
- Larry Craig – the obvious first pick to solicit new Teabaggers, his wide stance will set the standard of clean Teabagging that the rest of the crown can look up to.
- Mark Foley – this former Representative can really make the youth Teabaggers come, they are the voice of tomorrow and Foley can fill that voice with the muffled sound of Teabagging determination.
- Ted Haggard – they are going to need someone to do the invocation. Once that is done, Teddy can rally the Teabaggers against drugs and gay prostitutes—kill two birds with one ball.
- Sarah Palin – like her run for VP, there is essentially no evidence that the Barracuda has any real Teabagging experience (I’m not doing any Teabagging anywhere in the vicinity of any woman with the nickname “Barracuda”). But I think in a time of political need her “you betcha” attitude will make up for that lack of experience. Plus, she’s from Alaska, there could be some Ice Teabagging parties she could lead.
- Sam Wurzelbacher - this Republican star who performs under the name Joe the Plumber is my pick for the wild card in this campaign. His political finesse is shaky, but his made up blue collar background as the political “Larry the Cable Guy” is right on target. After all, if you’re going to do some Teabagging, eventually you need a guy there that knows how to lay some pipe.
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